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Theme music fades. Beavis and Butt-Head are walking through a mall. They come to a store with a sign that reads, "Computer Heaven." They stop and look in the window and see a display of computers.

BUTT-HEAD: Wooh!. Computers are cool.
BEAVIS: Yeah, computers are cool.
BUTT-HEAD: What do you know about computers, munch-wipe? You've never used a computer before.
BEAVIS: [Somewhat apologetic] Oh, yeah. That's right... Hey Butt-Head, have you ever used one of those computer things?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh... No.

Scene shifts. Beavis and Butt-Head are walking down the aisles of Computer Heaven. They stop in front of a computer running a copy of Excel. Beavis grabs the mouse and starts clicking wildly. A clerk walks up to Beavis.
B&B with computer
BEAVIS: Hey look at me, Butt-Head. I'm working a computer.
CLERK: Ah, I see you're familiar with spreadsheets. Excel is a very powerful program. I use it all the time on my laptop to do mail merge with Word.
BUTT-HEAD: He said, "merge."
CLERK: I'd demonstrate how it work on the network, but the server will be going down soon.
BEAVIS: He said "going down."
CLERK: As you probably already know, Excel supports VBA, OLE2, MAPI, and works with 16-bit and 32-bit OSs.
BUTT-HEAD: Uh... why don't you like leave us alone so we can work this computer by ourselves?
BEAVIS: Yeah, just go away or something. We're busy.

The clerk leaves them to assist another customer.

BUTT-HEAD: What a dork.
BEAVIS: Yeah, he acts like he knows about these computers.

Beavis and Butt-Head continue walking through the store. They see an older woman who is trying out a Macintosh.

BUTT-HEAD: Hey Beavis. Look at that old chick. She's too old to be using a computer.
BEAVIS: Yeah, she's too old for this kind of stuff.
LADY: Hi boys. Do you work here?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Yeah. I guess.
LADY: I clicked this icon that said "Recipes", and it opened up this window...
BUTT-HEAD: She said "pees".

Scene shifts so show a close up of a Mac screen with Recipe software running.

LADY: Now watch this. I click on "Beef Stroganoff" and nothing happens.
BUTT-HEAD: She said "strokin' off".
BEAVIS: Yeah. This old chick's cool Butt-Head.
LADY: What am I doing wrong?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Well lady, I can think of a lot of things.
BEAVIS: Yeah. I think you're like stroking the computer in the wrong place.
LADY: And another thing. Should I be using a mouse or a joystick with this application?
BEAVIS: Well, I have a joystick right here on my laptop. You can use it if you want.
BUTT-HEAD: Beavis, your joystick is just the right size for a mouse.
BEAVIS: It is? Oh yeah, I guess it is.
LADY: Well, I'm hooked. So how much is this computer?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. It's like 50 bucks or something.
LADY: Why that's quite reasonable! I thought entering the Information Superhighway would have a much higher toll. I'll take this little thingy home with me.
BUTT-HEAD: She said "thingy."
BEAVIS: Yeah, Butt-Head. I told you this old chick was cool.
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Yeah Beavis. You were right for once.

The Lady hands Butt-Head two twenties and one ten.

LADY: I'm so excited. Now, where do I pick up my new computer?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Just drive around to the back, or something.
BEAVIS: Yeah, just drive on through to the back. You'll get your joystick there.

Butt-Head puts the cash in his pocket and they leave the store. They continue walking through the mall.

BEAVIS: Hey Butt-Head. Did we like make some money, or something?
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Yeah. I think so.
BEAVIS: Money's cool. Yeah. Money's cool. [Starts singing wildly]. Money. Yeah money. I want a whole lot of money. Yeah money...
BUTT-HEAD: Shut up asswipe.
BEAVIS: [Still singing]. ...Money. Yeah money. I want a whole lot of money. Yeah money.
BUTT-HEAD: I said shut up dill-weed. Shut up or I'll kick your ass.
BEAVIS: [Still singing]. ...Money. Yeah money. I want a whole lot of money. Yeah money.

Butt-Head smacks Beavis in the face. Beavis' face becomes grossly distorted, but quickly returns to normal. The boys continue to walk through the mall as if this hostile incident hadn't occurred.

BUTT-HEAD: Hey Beavis. I think we're like rich, or something. What do you want to do with all this money from the old chick?
BEAVIS: Uh. Well, we could buy some nachos or something. Or we could like save it up and...
BUTT-HEAD: Hey dude! check it out.

Butt-Head points to a storefront. Pan to a view of a store in the mall with a sign that reads, "Computer Training."


BUTT-HEAD: Com--pu. Com-pu-ter. Tramp. Trains. Computer Training Pants. No... Computer Training.
BEAVIS: That means like they can train your computer to do things for you. Like if you want something to eat, the computer gets some nachos for you. If you want to change the channel, you just tell the computer and it does it for you. If you have to take a dump or something, the computer goes and does it for you. And you can even train it to wipe your...
BUTT-HEAD: Will you shut up fart-knocker? You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Training is like telling you how to do stuff with a computer. We can use this money to do some cool computer stuff.
BEAVIS: I heard that you can get like pictures of naked chicks and stuff off a computer.
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Yeah I think I heard that too.
BEAVIS: You have to get on some kind of highway I think.
BUTT-HEAD: We're there dude.

Beavis and Butt-Head enter the Computer Training office, and are greeted by a salesperson named Jason.

JASON: Good afternoon gentlemen. Pardon me while I answer my e-mail. OK. Now what can I do for you? You look like two intelligent young men who realized that it's time to enter the information age.
BUTT-HEAD: Uh. Yeah. We like just had birthdays so we're old enough for this.
BEAVIS: Yeah. We want to train a computer to do some cool stuff with my joystick.
JASON: Well, I'll need to assess your specific needs before recommending a training curriculum. What is your primary objective in wanting to learn to use a computer?
BUTT-HEAD: He said "ass".
BEAVIS: We want to like see some naked chick pictures.
BUTT-HEAD: Uh, yeah. That's pretty much what our needs are.
JASON: [His demeanor changes] I'll bet you're referring to the Internet. [whispering] Hey, I've got some real hot web sites for you guys. Watch this...

Jason move the mouse around and makes a few clicks. In a few seconds, pan to Beavis and Butt-Head's faces. Their eyes are bulging out, small beads of sweat are forming, and they are speechless.

BUTT-HEAD: Hey Beavis. Uh. This training stuff is cool. I think I know what a hard disk is now.
BEAVIS: Yeah, I have a hard disk now too.

Music up and fade out.